The following blog post was provided by Sara Braatz:
Childhood is an exciting and impressionable time is one's life. Many youth spend much of their childhood playing sports in organized leagues where parents are their biggest cheerleaders. Many parents often become upset when their child does not perform to their expectations, or at all. A recent study (see http://www.nays.org/fullstory.cfm?articleid=10389) shows parents in the United States display the worst behavior at youth sporting events. Parents often become angry at coaches or officials and even gone so far as to fight or shoot officials (see http://www.naso.org/sportsmanship/badsports.html). Children watch their parents behave in such a manner and believe it is acceptable for them to behave in this way as well. What steps should we take to reduce to occurrence of such behaviors among adults and children to enhance the sport experience for all.
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Sara, you raise some really good points and very valid questions about parent behavior and its impact on childrens' sport experiences. Having watched my kids participate in youth sports for several years and having seen many displays of bad sportsmanship in parents, I'm hard-pressed to offer any suggestions for change. Bad behavior seems so ingrained in the culture, especially in some communities, that change seems difficult, if not highly unlikely. It's really sad, but unfortunately true.
ReplyDeleteThe only suggstion I might make would be to videotape as many events as possible. That way if there is misbehavior the offending party can at least be made to watch themselves. Maybe a little good old-fashion shame will motivate some behavioral change.
The reason parents want there children to do so well is because of what us as american has labeled as a perfect child. As parents we want our kids to be involved in multiple things such as music, sports, church etc.. I know growing up as a kid my mom put me in the best situation to become successful. At that point in time I did not want it but once I got older I realized see got me off on the right foot. As parents we try to make sure we give our kids the opportunity that either we didn't have or a better chance to become successful. This is why we cheer and support them the way we do.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the things we could do in our society is to have meetings with parents before a particular season would start and just talk to them about the importance of not putting added pressure on their son/daughters, acting with a certain decorum, and just outlying for them what exactly the expectations are for their son/daugher, them, and coaches when they are involved in a particular sport. I see so many parents who try to live through their son/daugher and whenever they make a mistake the parent acts like their child just caused their team to lose the world series or super bowl. When you tell everyone what the expectations are for them, people are far more likely to know and understand what behavior is acceptable and unacceptable. If you don't talk about it then parents think they have the right to do anything and then thats when you get a really bad scene at a game. Just like life communication is the key.
ReplyDeleteKevin brings up a valid point of having these events video taped. However, I would make it clear and know that if a parent were to act inappropriately that there could be 3 possible results:
ReplyDelete1. Parents that violate the rule can possibly be fined up to $100
2. Depending on the violation the kid could be suspended up to 3 games.
3. Depending on the violation the kid could be permanently kicked out of that league.
I think by having rules that could penalize the parent, team, or kid that it would trigger something in these parents head to hold back a little bit when they decided that they want to go off on a coach or referee.
Keep in mind that this is an example of things that could be done.
ReplyDeleteYou all bring up great points about the desire of parents to have their children succeed. I would also agree that it is important to inform parents of the ways in which they can positively support their children during their sport experience. In some areas of the country they have imposed “silent days” in which parents are not allowed to say anything negative, or anything at all at games. Should we have to go to this extreme to get parents to positively support their children and their child’s teammates?
ReplyDeleteIn addition, penalties such as those proposed by Coach Thomas are being implemented throughout various leagues in the United States. However, if you impose penalties for misbehaving, how are you going to enforce parents to comply? Is it fair to punish the child for the actions of the parents?
I agree that communication is key to keeping these situations at bay. If parents know what the expectations are during games (cheer on their child and team, respect officials, and keep negative comments to themselves) a lot of the negative situations will be avoided. I think there should be reprimands for parents that do not meet the rules explained to them at the beginning of the year. I do not think the athlete should be punished for his or her parents actions, but the parent could be banned from coming to games if it escalates to that.
ReplyDeleteThis situation has been increasing within all sports. Parents have begun to cross the line and becoming too involved in a sports game or match. While, I understand their passion for success, the line of respect for other has been fractured. It is a shame when people are afraid to be an official because of heckling or harassment. Society and parents have begun tp play a tricky game, harassing the ref's, while tryin to show support and being a positive role model for their children and team.Difusing these situations is much needed. The "athletic director" or on-site supervisior needs to prepare and plan for these rude actions. Sadly, we need to re-train this generation before it gets out of hand.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great topic and an extremely sad one in the same. Growing up in a hockey family, and just sports family in general, I have seen WAY to many fights happen between parents. I think a big reason why parents want their kids to be so great and not mess up is not only the 'perfect American child' that cywainwright mentioned, but this ideal of the 'American Dream'. Not only does the american dream include money, nice cars, houses, ect, but for parents if their kids are super good at sports, then somehow that fits into this whole American Dream. Lots of times parents also want their children to be better or get farther in sports than they ever did, and this causes the parent to somewhat 'live their dream' through their child. There definitely needs to be some rules set out and enforced. Each High School has a set up rules that are usually placed in gyms or fields stating how they are going to act and be respectful, and this also needs to be done with sports outside of schools such as youth leagues, travel hockey, bball, ect.. Im not really sure what these rules will state, but they do need to take place.
ReplyDeleteIt is really sad that parents need to be sat down and told what is appropriate behavor at youth sporting events. Like a few others have stated already there need to be some sort of consequence if a parent steps out of line at a youth sporting event. Attempting to impose fines could be a tough task, and suspending the child sends the wrong message.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of having a meeting or a conference to state what is acceptable and not acceptable at youth sports events. But like Grant said, it seems sad or ridiculous that as an adult you have to attend something to tell you how to act properly.
ReplyDeleteIf you do have a meeting or conference, you would have to make sure that all parents attended. If not, then their child would not be able to participate in the event or activity.
As for certain rules and guidelines, the question was brought up by Sara of how you are going to get parents to comply. How are you going to make sure each and every parent is following them they way they were or are intended?
I know as a brother, not a parent, I have done my fair share of yelling. Each time I finish I feel more and more embarrassed, but I just can't seem to control myself. I'm not yelling for me, I'm yelling for the team or my siblings. But that doesn't make it right. But like I said, it's hard to control myself.
As a basketball official, I have dealt with my fair share of disgruntled parents. But having been in their position, I understand where they are coming from. I try to calmly talk with them when I have a chance. Sometimes, maybe most times, they just get more angry because it is not what they want to hear. But all you can do you try.
Soon enough games will be played between bulletproof glass or whatever. Or maybe events will be played with no fans at all. Soccer has been doing that. Sometimes if crowds or fans are too "animated," they'll close the stadium and play the game with no one watching. Hopefully that is not where this is headed.
You all have made very similar points - parents are out of control and measures need to be taken. However, I find it interesting that while we all realize, and believe, there is a problem, how does the problem persist? Is it that sporting parents are uneducated on the matter? Or does everything go out the window when we attend sporting events? How is it that so many realize there is a problem yet, not only does the problem persist, it appears to get worse!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunatly the only way you will get parents behavior to change would be to de-emphasis youth sports and thier importance in people's life. I don't see that happening. I do find it interesting that when you look at trends in youth sports we see sports such as skateboarding and x-games type sports becoming more popular across the country. The reason being most parents don't know anything about those sports and kids can go and participate in them without their parents obsessing about every that happens. As long as we have travel teams and elite club teams involved in youth sports we will have overbearing parents. The only way to control the parent is to have a rule that would eliminate the parents child from playing in your organization if the parents behavior was unacceptable.
ReplyDeleteWe must remember the reasons as to WHY our youth are participating. First off, was this their decision or was is forced upon them? Many times you see these outrageous parents taking advantage of their children's impressionable minds to live vicariously. Their outbursts are a product of a desire for involvment and a competitive environment, while losing sight of who the participation is really about. And, as mentioned above, why are our youth participating. Physical activity, extra curricular, motor skill development, and social interaction are all positive purposes. When participation goes beyond this and out of the relm of "fun," again, sight has been lost.
ReplyDeleteI am looking at having a code of conduct for our parents this season with my team. My AD, has approved of it and says that he will help make this happen, but basically it tells parents that they will get warned once, after that they will not be allowed at any games for the rest of the season if they want to act the way they are acting. My AD does have to be the enforcer, but he said that he would be glad to do so. Hopefully that will help in our case, but much is needed to helpl all aspects of sport, it is not making the games fun when parents are ruining it for the kids.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone think that the reason why parents get so riled up during their childrens sporting events is because 1. they want their child to be just as competetive as they once were and 2. their children show more potential than they did as a kid? Food for thought.
ReplyDelete